living with grief | Emily Crewse Kalka 1

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Emily Crewse Kalka

It’s Okay to Admit You’re Not Okay

It’s Okay to Admit You’re Not Okay

It’s Okay to Admit You’re Not Okay

Sheesh, sometimes life likes to really hit you hard. The first week of November has always been a rough one for me.

Nov 6, 20243 min read

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So... since the YA version of "Queen of the Wood" is such a departure from the original story, I decided to go ahead and give it a fresh title of its own, as well as change some characters' names. I'm still not sure if I'm sold on this one, but we're going with it for now. The first two chapters are back up on Wattpad! #mysterythrillerbooks #yamysterythrillers #oklahomawriter #oklahomanovel #smalltownnovel #amateursleuth #indieauthor #selfpublishedauthor #writerscommunity

So... since the YA version of "Queen of the Wood" is such a departure from the original story, I decided to go ahead and give it a fresh title of its own, as well as change some characters' names. I'm still not sure if I'm sold on this one, but we're going with it for now. The first two chapters are back up on Wattpad! #mysterythrillerbooks #yamysterythrillers #oklahomawriter #oklahomanovel #smalltownnovel #amateursleuth #indieauthor #selfpublishedauthor #writerscommunity

Since it’s a rainy night, decided to play with some makeup and practice for GalaxyCon. Sand the lashes and contacts. Waiting to bust those open until closer to the con. Also, I’m pretty sure all I have to do is change out the lip for a deep red and this will work for Manon too. #cosplay #twilight #alicecullen

Since it’s a rainy night, decided to play with some makeup and practice for GalaxyCon. Sand the lashes and contacts. Waiting to bust those open until closer to the con. Also, I’m pretty sure all I have to do is change out the lip for a deep red and this will work for Manon too. #cosplay #twilight #alicecullen

On April 16, 2014, I woke up late. I was on the late shift at The Korea Herald and didn’t have to be at the office until 1:30pm. I had no idea what was going on since I tended to do a media blackout when I wasn’t working. When I first heard about the Sewol, they were already passed mistakenly reporting that everyone was rescued. Even though I knew it was going to be a bad, I still wasn’t prepared. To this day, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to work. It’s something that Korea will never forget. I won’t either. #remembersewol

On April 16, 2014, I woke up late. I was on the late shift at The Korea Herald and didn’t have to be at the office until 1:30pm. I had no idea what was going on since I tended to do a media blackout when I wasn’t working. When I first heard about the Sewol, they were already passed mistakenly reporting that everyone was rescued. Even though I knew it was going to be a bad, I still wasn’t prepared. To this day, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to work. It’s something that Korea will never forget. I won’t either. #remembersewol

Spent the day at the farm celebrating my grandpa's 88th birthday. While we often have family gatherings out at the farm, it's not often my dad and sister get to be here. Had a great weekend getting to catch up with them. #happybirthday #outatthefarm #oklahoma

Spent the day at the farm celebrating my grandpa's 88th birthday. While we often have family gatherings out at the farm, it's not often my dad and sister get to be here. Had a great weekend getting to catch up with them. #happybirthday #outatthefarm #oklahoma

Feel like I need to incorporate my grandfather and his dog into a book. #oklahoma

Feel like I need to incorporate my grandfather and his dog into a book. #oklahoma

I asked whose idea it was to roll around in the mud… #rescuedogsofinstagram #rescuepups #rainyday

I asked whose idea it was to roll around in the mud… #rescuedogsofinstagram #rescuepups #rainyday

I may be 40 but I’m still a cosplayer at heart. Taking a short vacay to GalaxyCon next month and the first of my costume pieces came in today. 😆 Point if you can guess the costumes from the photos. (Checking the guest list isn’t cheating. 😚) #galaxyconokc #cosplay

I may be 40 but I’m still a cosplayer at heart. Taking a short vacay to GalaxyCon next month and the first of my costume pieces came in today. 😆 Point if you can guess the costumes from the photos. (Checking the guest list isn’t cheating. 😚) #galaxyconokc #cosplay

Now, whether this stays as the opening line of my new book remains to be seen, but for now, I’m digging it. #ozarksmystery #workinprogress #murdermystery #thrillerbooks #indieauthor #sellfpublishedauthor

Now, whether this stays as the opening line of my new book remains to be seen, but for now, I’m digging it. #ozarksmystery #workinprogress #murdermystery #thrillerbooks #indieauthor #sellfpublishedauthor

I am having SO MUCH FUN getting this book together. I've started writing and have the prologue and first two chapters done and I'm getting closer to finishing up the chapter outline. I'm hoping I can get to NWA in June (April & May are already too full, bugger) to do a bit of book research and have some fun doing ghosty stuff with my sister, @haley__shook. Guys, this one is going to be a doozy of a ride. And bloody. Very bloody.
#mysterythrillerwriter #ozarksstory #ozarkbook #murderbook #nwarkansas #wip #murdermysterythrillerbook #indieauthor #selfpublishedwriter

I am having SO MUCH FUN getting this book together. I've started writing and have the prologue and first two chapters done and I'm getting closer to finishing up the chapter outline. I'm hoping I can get to NWA in June (April & May are already too full, bugger) to do a bit of book research and have some fun doing ghosty stuff with my sister, @haley__shook. Guys, this one is going to be a doozy of a ride. And bloody. Very bloody.
#mysterythrillerwriter #ozarksstory #ozarkbook #murderbook #nwarkansas #wip #murdermysterythrillerbook #indieauthor #selfpublishedwriter

Needed a nice win to help calm my nerves before my interview today with the Oklahoma governor. We got the results in from the OPA for their Better Newspaper Contest, and I'm up for at least one first-place award and at least one second- or third-place award. I won't find out how many awards I've officially gotten - or for which stories - until the conference and ceremony in June. It's my first time getting first-place, so yea. Feels good.
#smalltownreporter #smalltownjournalism #oklahomapress

Needed a nice win to help calm my nerves before my interview today with the Oklahoma governor. We got the results in from the OPA for their Better Newspaper Contest, and I'm up for at least one first-place award and at least one second- or third-place award. I won't find out how many awards I've officially gotten - or for which stories - until the conference and ceremony in June. It's my first time getting first-place, so yea. Feels good.
#smalltownreporter #smalltownjournalism #oklahomapress

So, the wind was blowing so hard this morning, it took the back half of the roof off one of our historic (and rundown) buildings on main street. The issue now is how to get rid of the debris without the wind picking it up and carrying it off, as well as doing that without completely cutting off electricity and internet for all/most/a good chunk of downtown. The electricity and internet have been flickering in and out all day, to the point that I'm thinking about packing up and working from home for the rest of the day. Last I heard, they had 2-3 internet companies, OG&E, and the gas company all out there, along with public works and the fire department... Do not envy them today. Also, very thankful that they were able to quickly evacuate the animal hospital located right next door to this building (it's my vet). #oklahoma #oklahomawinds #lincolncounty #windyday

So, the wind was blowing so hard this morning, it took the back half of the roof off one of our historic (and rundown) buildings on main street. The issue now is how to get rid of the debris without the wind picking it up and carrying it off, as well as doing that without completely cutting off electricity and internet for all/most/a good chunk of downtown. The electricity and internet have been flickering in and out all day, to the point that I'm thinking about packing up and working from home for the rest of the day. Last I heard, they had 2-3 internet companies, OG&E, and the gas company all out there, along with public works and the fire department... Do not envy them today. Also, very thankful that they were able to quickly evacuate the animal hospital located right next door to this building (it's my vet). #oklahoma #oklahomawinds #lincolncounty #windyday

Move back to Oklahoma, they said. It’ll be fun. At least now I know that I can, indeed, do my makeup in the dark. Now it’s time for a whole bunch of sit around and wait. Half the town is out including my office, meaning there’s not a whole lot of work I can do until the electricity comes back on… #oklahoma

Move back to Oklahoma, they said. It’ll be fun. At least now I know that I can, indeed, do my makeup in the dark. Now it’s time for a whole bunch of sit around and wait. Half the town is out including my office, meaning there’s not a whole lot of work I can do until the electricity comes back on… #oklahoma

For my book fiends that love a good ghost story. “The Whitehall Affair” is a mystery with a paranormal twist. Is Nora really communicating with ghosts from the 1920s, or is it all in her head? If it is in her head, then how is she finding clues for a 100-year-old murder mystery in NYC’s most infamous mansion? #mysterybooks #paranormalmystery #ghoststory #hauntedmansionstory #indieauthor #oklahomawriter

For my book fiends that love a good ghost story. “The Whitehall Affair” is a mystery with a paranormal twist. Is Nora really communicating with ghosts from the 1920s, or is it all in her head? If it is in her head, then how is she finding clues for a 100-year-old murder mystery in NYC’s most infamous mansion? #mysterybooks #paranormalmystery #ghoststory #hauntedmansionstory #indieauthor #oklahomawriter

A few more shots from when I was out covering fires on Friday. We're all hoping and praying that we don't have another day like that tomorrow or Tuesday. Never in Oklahoma history has there been that many fires across the state in one day, according to our local emergency management department. Over 16 fires in Lincoln County alone, with 5 to 6 of those large-scale fires going on at the same time. #OklahomaStrong #oklahomafires

A few more shots from when I was out covering fires on Friday. We're all hoping and praying that we don't have another day like that tomorrow or Tuesday. Never in Oklahoma history has there been that many fires across the state in one day, according to our local emergency management department. Over 16 fires in Lincoln County alone, with 5 to 6 of those large-scale fires going on at the same time. #OklahomaStrong #oklahomafires

Another evening spent chasing fires for the paper. Honestly there were so many popping up around my town that I wasn’t sure where to go. #smalltownreporter

Another evening spent chasing fires for the paper. Honestly there were so many popping up around my town that I wasn’t sure where to go. #smalltownreporter

Love when I get to see my author friends in person and when all my book girlies get together. Went to @ginnymyerssain’s talk tonight about her latest book “When the Bones Sing” right here in my hometown (where Ginny is also from). I love all her books, but this one pulled at my heart strings. It’s set in the Arkansas Ozarks - the land of my birth and my mama’s family - and in a way, it felt like going home. The characters are colorful and real. The book is so vivid that I felt like I was walking the trails of the Ozark Mountains as I read. I’m so grateful that I got to interview Ginny last year. It’s fitting, really. Her mother was one of the big reasons I became a writer and Ginny and her books pushed me into giving YA a try and started me on the latest leg of my writing journey. Tonight was fun and informative. And seriously - go get her books if you love twisty, dark tales. You won’t be disappointed. #mysterythrillerbooks #oklahomaauthors #yanovels #yawriters #smalltownwriters

Love when I get to see my author friends in person and when all my book girlies get together. Went to @ginnymyerssain’s talk tonight about her latest book “When the Bones Sing” right here in my hometown (where Ginny is also from). I love all her books, but this one pulled at my heart strings. It’s set in the Arkansas Ozarks - the land of my birth and my mama’s family - and in a way, it felt like going home. The characters are colorful and real. The book is so vivid that I felt like I was walking the trails of the Ozark Mountains as I read. I’m so grateful that I got to interview Ginny last year. It’s fitting, really. Her mother was one of the big reasons I became a writer and Ginny and her books pushed me into giving YA a try and started me on the latest leg of my writing journey. Tonight was fun and informative. And seriously - go get her books if you love twisty, dark tales. You won’t be disappointed. #mysterythrillerbooks #oklahomaauthors #yanovels #yawriters #smalltownwriters

Hard to believe that Mom would be 59 today. I’m pretty sure she’d still look about 45. Always missing her. Happy Birthday, Mom.

Hard to believe that Mom would be 59 today. I’m pretty sure she’d still look about 45. Always missing her. Happy Birthday, Mom.

Current read. Love a good historical fiction about murder… #bookstagram #murderbook

Current read. Love a good historical fiction about murder… #bookstagram #murderbook

When it’s cold and rainy outside and you spent all day talking books, there’s nothing like a spicy bowl of budae chigae. #koreanfoodlover #seoulmysecondhome #comfortfood

When it’s cold and rainy outside and you spent all day talking books, there’s nothing like a spicy bowl of budae chigae. #koreanfoodlover #seoulmysecondhome #comfortfood

Come see me at @knights_nook today! Showcase is from 12-3pm! #indiebooks #indiebookstore #selfpublishedauthor #indieauthors #mysterythriller #mysterythrillerbooks #horrorbooks #oklahomawriter #oklahomaauthors

Come see me at @knights_nook today! Showcase is from 12-3pm! #indiebooks #indiebookstore #selfpublishedauthor #indieauthors #mysterythriller #mysterythrillerbooks #horrorbooks #oklahomawriter #oklahomaauthors

I promise, I’m working on stuff. “Everyone Talks” is done and I’m going to start querying. Which means I can focus more on adapting “Queen of the Wood”. And I’m super excited to also be working on “No One Can Hear You Holler.” It’s going to be such a twisty ride once I get all the details worked out. #indiewriter #workinprogress #mysterythrillerbooks #oklahomawriter

I promise, I’m working on stuff. “Everyone Talks” is done and I’m going to start querying. Which means I can focus more on adapting “Queen of the Wood”. And I’m super excited to also be working on “No One Can Hear You Holler.” It’s going to be such a twisty ride once I get all the details worked out. #indiewriter #workinprogress #mysterythrillerbooks #oklahomawriter

Come on out to Knight's Nook in Yukon on Saturday to pick up my books and get them signed by me! There's also going to be several other great local mystery/thriller/horror authors there as well, so you just might find your next favorite read! #indieauthors #indiebookstores #shoplocal #oklahomawriters #mysterythrillerbooks #mysterythrillerwriters #horrorwriters

Come on out to Knight's Nook in Yukon on Saturday to pick up my books and get them signed by me! There's also going to be several other great local mystery/thriller/horror authors there as well, so you just might find your next favorite read! #indieauthors #indiebookstores #shoplocal #oklahomawriters #mysterythrillerbooks #mysterythrillerwriters #horrorwriters

Be sure to come out to @knights_nook on Saturday! I’ll be there with my fellow mystery/thriller/horror writers. Showcase runs from 12-3pm!! #indiebookshop #indieauthor #indiebooks #oklahomawriters #mysterybooks #mysterythrillerbooks

Be sure to come out to @knights_nook on Saturday! I’ll be there with my fellow mystery/thriller/horror writers. Showcase runs from 12-3pm!! #indiebookshop #indieauthor #indiebooks #oklahomawriters #mysterybooks #mysterythrillerbooks

I’m currently in tears. One of the things I love most about being a small town reporter is following the people you write about and getting to celebrate their triumphs. I didn’t get any photos of the girls who made it to finals, but just got word that the team I did a feature on (McLoud) were state champs. Out of 9 on the team, 8 made it to state (would have been all if not for an injury). Of those, they had 2 state champs and 2 runners-up. Regardless, I admire all of the girls. They work hard and some have some pretty grueling obstacles that they do let get in their way. I’m seriously proud of them and their accomplishments. And, as most of the team are freshmen and sophomores, I’m incredibly excited to keep following them in the years to come. These are the stories that give me life. #smalltownreporter #oklahoma #girlswrestling #ossaastatewrestlingtournament

I’m currently in tears. One of the things I love most about being a small town reporter is following the people you write about and getting to celebrate their triumphs. I didn’t get any photos of the girls who made it to finals, but just got word that the team I did a feature on (McLoud) were state champs. Out of 9 on the team, 8 made it to state (would have been all if not for an injury). Of those, they had 2 state champs and 2 runners-up. Regardless, I admire all of the girls. They work hard and some have some pretty grueling obstacles that they do let get in their way. I’m seriously proud of them and their accomplishments. And, as most of the team are freshmen and sophomores, I’m incredibly excited to keep following them in the years to come. These are the stories that give me life. #smalltownreporter #oklahoma #girlswrestling #ossaastatewrestlingtournament

Covering the state wrestling tournament and taking a break from being down on the mats. #smalltownreporter #hswrestling

Covering the state wrestling tournament and taking a break from being down on the mats. #smalltownreporter #hswrestling

I may still be a newbie photographer but sometimes I take good photos of pigs. 😂 #smalltownreporter #livestockseason #lincolncountyoklahoma

I may still be a newbie photographer but sometimes I take good photos of pigs. 😂 #smalltownreporter #livestockseason #lincolncountyoklahoma

Come on out to chat with me and my fellow mystery/thriller/horror authors at @knights_nook on March 8! We’ll be there from 12-3 pm. #indieauthors #oklahomaauthors #indiebookshop #supportlocalbusiness #supportlocalwriters #mysterythrillerwriters

Come on out to chat with me and my fellow mystery/thriller/horror authors at @knights_nook on March 8! We’ll be there from 12-3 pm. #indieauthors #oklahomaauthors #indiebookshop #supportlocalbusiness #supportlocalwriters #mysterythrillerwriters

When the roads are coated in ice, I work from home and the kiddos get to enjoy watching true crime all day. Perhaps they’re taking notes to help me out with future novels… #writerslife #reporterlife #oklahomaweather #workfromhome #snowday

When the roads are coated in ice, I work from home and the kiddos get to enjoy watching true crime all day. Perhaps they’re taking notes to help me out with future novels… #writerslife #reporterlife #oklahomaweather #workfromhome #snowday

Another day in the life of a small town reporter. Spent 5 hours shooting a local high school livestock show and my legs and back are killing me from spending an hour or more squatting down trying to get the best angle for pig snoot photos… But I got some cute shots. And nearly run over by a pig… and some heifers… #oklahomareporter #smalltownreporter #livestockshow

Another day in the life of a small town reporter. Spent 5 hours shooting a local high school livestock show and my legs and back are killing me from spending an hour or more squatting down trying to get the best angle for pig snoot photos… But I got some cute shots. And nearly run over by a pig… and some heifers… #oklahomareporter #smalltownreporter #livestockshow

The memories… way back in 2018 I got to make my dream of going to the Olympics come true. It was an amazing experience that I got to share with my best friend from college @therapydogtalk. And I got to meet @arielletgold. Very much worth standing on -20 C snow for hours. #pyeongchang2018🇰🇷 #wintergames2018 #winterolympics2018 @teamusa #winterolympics

The memories… way back in 2018 I got to make my dream of going to the Olympics come true. It was an amazing experience that I got to share with my best friend from college @therapydogtalk. And I got to meet @arielletgold. Very much worth standing on -20 C snow for hours. #pyeongchang2018🇰🇷 #wintergames2018 #winterolympics2018 @teamusa #winterolympics

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